Creepers weave their way up
Only to pull me down
I am falling now
falling frame by frame
I can hear voices
frogs conspiring
Or just snoring
Or planning their French fly with a herb tea for the morning
can’t they hear me scream?
Even I can’t.
My throat’s ripping apart anyways
Wind’s whistling loud
Too loud to decode the notes
or there aren’t just any
everything is not music
But I am still dancing to it
Flapping my hands
Wagging my legs too
Maybe I should try one thing at a time
Maybe I should keep still
And let wind fill me up like a polythene bag
How I wish I ate less
I have left no space for the wind
I can’t make space here. This is not like my private space.
I am missing my private space.
I am also missing my room adjoining the private space
I am missing my grinning wooden cat,
my irritating oval alarm clock
my chair with a broken leg
my yellow shoes, now red brown mustard

(while I am busy missing things, the ground reality strikes; I am closer to the ground)

Wish a hay truck comes by and catches me
The way it does in all the movies
There is not even a bicycle in sight.

Wish I hadn’t learnt what gravity was
Wish Newton hadn’t formulated it in the first place
Wish I had never attended school.
Wish I had a short term memory.
Wish it didn’t run in my mind now.
Wish I could keep my brain out, for a while.
Breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
THUD.

Phisale Zubaan
Lachke zubaan
Har mod pe karvat le zubaan

Twisted words, crumbled meanings

Fear life

You saved every penny
Now, they are just pennies

You scoffed every time she brushed past you
You still do, all the time though

You jumped up fences
Now, you topple over a pebble

You read, and you read more
Now, you can’t decipher a single line on your forehead

And oh! you looked up phone numbers
Now, you look up names

You made castles in air
They’re still under construction

You could thread any needle to stamp that button in place on your son’s uniform
Now your hands struggle to lace up your grandson’s shoes.

You were taken by surprise when she wished you on your birthday,
Now, your birthday comes as a surprise to you.

Memories of your first kiss still taste fresh
But you can’t recall what you ate in the morning

You keep living still
Fearing life more than death.



‘Your life is not what you make it.
You are what life makes of you.’

Dhaagey padey padey kyun ulajh jaatein hain
Kyun unhe suljhate suljhate shaam ho jaati hai
khidki se doobte sooraj ko dekhte hue kyun chai thandi ho jaati hai
Kyun Phir bhi woh pyali hatheliyon mein kuchh garmahat si chod jaati hai
Kyun woh garmaahat ek kampaati sardi ki yaad garam kar deti hai
Yaadein kabhi kyun akeli nahin aati
Mann ko kuchh udher kar kyun woh uske reshe mein bas jaati hain
Kyun ve mann ke udhde dhaage wahin reh jaate hain
Phir ulajhne ko

Har mod pe
Karvat le zubaan

Bin badali
Barse ankhiyan

Roshandaan ke niche
Andhera hai yahaan